Homemade Jam (Sort Of)

I've been wanting to make jam at home for a while now. I love the stuff, but grocery store and mainstream brands just have too much sugar (or worse, high fructose corn syrup), and the organic varieties cost too much for a family on a budget. So when I saw an easy recipe in this month's Real Simple, I decided to give it a try!

It was so quick: just a bag of frozen, 100% berry blend fruit (the recipe called for fresh blueberries, but I used what I had on hand, lemon juice, sugar, and salt. It cooked for a total of about 30 minutes, including a gentle cook for the first five minutes or so (to soften the frozen berries) and a near boil for the remainder of the time.

It turned out fantastic! So yummy!

Day 19 (30DJC)

Prompt 19: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

To be able to give unconditional love would be a superpower indeed. I fail so miserably at it, but can think of nothing else I'd rather do. (And everyone knows I hate flying, anyway.)

Beautiful Flaws

The disease I have, cystinosis, causes a buildup of the amino acid cystine in all the cells of the body. This amino acid, so benign in individuals without cystinosis, crystallizes into toxic levels and destroys organs in someone like me.

My eyes are saturated with cystine crystals - even with hourly eye drops (which I confess...I don't take hourly) that are designed to dissolve them. These crystals cause eye discomfort and photophobia (light sensitivity). I am fortunate to have dark eyes that seem to be less impacted by the reflection of light. Many people with cystinosis experience such pain in bright conditions that they choose to wear sunglasses even inside, while under artificial light.

This would seem to be a nuisance. And, well, it is. The eye drops - which must stay cold and spoil after a couple weeks - feel good. Even so, who wants to put eye drops in every waking hour? It is tiresome and inconvenient.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to remind us that even our flaws - nuisances, inconveniences, tiresome though they may be - are beautiful. I went to a new ophthalmologist recently. He had never seen a patient with cystinosis.

I tried to prepare him. "My eyes are saturated with crystals," I said.

"I've read about cystinosis," he responded rather matter-of-factly. "This will be interesting."

But no medical textbook, no patient warning, no prior experience could prepare him for what he would see when he looked at my eyes with a slit lamp.

I heard him gasp.

"Oh! This...is...wow. It's beautiful!" He looked to my husband. "Have you seen this? You have to see this! It's amazing."

As I looked at my new eye doctor, grinning from ear to ear in spite of himself, I had to blink back tears. They weren't tears of resentment, or tears of anger, or the tears that sometimes come from feeling misunderstood. They were tears of joy. Because he understood perfectly - my eyes are beautiful.

My eyes are a window into my illness. They sparkle with a substance that my whole body is full of - a substance that, despite its toxic nature, forms crystals as lovely as snowflakes. I am beautiful because of what I have endured, because of the blessings I have been handed, and because my uniqueness makes me shine.

As my ophthalmologist rushed out of the room to gather his colleagues for a look at his patient's eyes, I smiled at my husband.

"Beautiful flaws," I said.

Day 18 (30DJC)

Prompt 18: Illustrate your job(s).

Photography Challenge: Cell Phone/Web Cam

This is one of my favorite photos that I've taken with my iPhone using the Instagram app. I'm not a photographer, so when anything comes out looking even somewhat artsy I get excited. Although this (my husband's beer at Buffalo Wild Wings) has been put through an Instagram filter, I still love the sunny hues.

I'm not a beer drinker, but this refreshing image almost makes me want to start.

Photography Challenge!

I just discovered the Photography Challenge over at Simplicity. Now, I am not a photographer - not by any stretch of the imagination! But I think it might challenge me to find beauty that normally goes uncaptured (by me). I'm excited to post some pictures from the challenge here!

Organizing the Chaos

This week, I'm trying to get organized using the wonderful babysteps at FlyLady.net. Poor hubby has learned that when you live with a teacher, "Spring Cleaning" often doesn't happen in the spring at all - or at any other time of the year, except for summer. So I need to make it count! Once the new school year starts up, I will slowly envelop myself in chaos once more with every lesson plan I pull off the bookshelf, every stack of papers I bring home to grade, every school supply run I make to Target.

My theme this summer is "create something beautiful." I don't think beauty requires organization, and some of the most beautiful scenes my eyes have taken in have been chaotic messes. A rusty Studebaker scattered with leaves in the sunset. Children splashing wildly in a pool. An explosion of color on a blank canvas.

That being said, my home is definitely not a work of chaotic beauty, and before I can open myself up to really create, I need to neaten. If I can redeem the shame of the before with pride in the after, I will post before and after pictures here.